


Sinner's Prayer

by liddell_alien



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Sex, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mention of Underage Sex, Multi, Rough Sex, Sex, Smut, Violence, mention of rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-09-25 03:40:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9801128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liddell_alien/pseuds/liddell_alien
Summary: Crowley is a collector of souls and mine was the rarest one he had managed to get a hold of. He couldn’t find a way to steal it from its human vessel, so he had to stick with me for a while – before I decided it was time for a change, which was possibly the worst mistake of my incredibly long life.[1st person reader]





	1. The Deal

For years, I searched the earth looking for bodies to inhabit. When I die, my soul immediately zaps into an empty vessel, it repairs it and then begins a new cycle. Unfortunately, I must still deal with the inconvenience of getting old – so I usually change my shell (as I like to call it, sometimes) every ten years or so. Lately, I have come across a few incidents and have had to change something like five bodies in seven years.

After the _first_ apocalypse, everything started to change, and deep down I knew this would eventually affect my life.

I was once Queen of Hell, (not for long, I admit) and now I’m imprisoned in a cold, crystal jar – waiting to be released, because there is no way I am spending the rest of eternity in here.

I might have killed and tortured and sold other souls to demons, but I’d never caused a freaking _apocalypse._ Okay, I am not the best person alive and maybe – just maybe – the world is a tiny bit safer without me looking for souls, but I bet there are plenty of other creatures that deserve to be here instead of me.

Now, I probably look like a shiny light globe, at least this is what I’ve heard; I can’t see much from here, but I can hear someone talking around me sometimes. Pretty pathetic, huh?

You’re probably wondering how I got into this situation. Well, let me explain from the beginning.

My story begins in 1907; I was born in Epsom, Surrey and I had no idea my soul couldn’t die.

When I was two years old, I was kidnapped by the man I thought to be my father, for twenty-seven years.

He wasn’t a bad person, he took care of me as if I were his own daughter, he always told me I was his angel.

Growing up, he told me my mother died in a car crash, when I was still an infant.

When I was eight, he came back home with a little girl; she was younger than me and he told me she was his daughter too. He told me her mother had died, and now he was all she had left.

I was young and naïve, he told me not to ask questions and I didn’t, because he was my father and he knew best.

Maud and I grew up together as sisters, even though I know we never shared even a single drop of blood.

Our lives were perfectly normal; Dad had always done everything he could to make us happy and satisfied. We were two happy girls.

Everything changed the day I turned thirteen.

Dad didn’t stop loving me, on the contrary, he started loving me too much. It was just affectionate hugs at the beginning, then it became kisses and then more, and more.

It didn’t happen often, but in time it became almost a daily routine.

I tried to fight it at first, but it only made him angry. In the end, to be his good girl, I didn’t fight it anymore and I started waiting silently in my room, for him to come visit me.

At that time, I had a best friend, Joanne. She was obsessed with the supernatural; she had a Ouija board and we spent days – and nights – using it. Joanne believed that the board was more cooperative when I was in the room with her. It was probably because I always pushed the planchette to spell out whatever I wanted.

One day, I remember telling her what my father used to do to me, I was almost sixteen at the time. Joanne begged me to tell an adult, but I didn’t want to get my Dad in trouble, so I stayed quiet, asking her if she had any advice for me.

A couple of weeks later, she came up with something. Joanne told me she had found a ritual in one of her books, it summoned a demon who would grant me a wish. She told me she had tried it and it had worked. She’d asked for a boyfriend and the day after, the boy she had a crush on, asked her out on a date.

I didn’t believe her, and kept living my life as it was, knowing there weren’t such things as ghosts or demons.

I was seventeen when Maud turned thirteen; we had a big party and had the best day of our lives.

That night my father was late, so I decided to get out of my bed and silently walk to my door. It was slightly ajar, I could see the entrance of our living room. Dad was sitting in his armchair with an empty bottle in his right hand. Maybe he was asleep, I thought.

But he wasn’t asleep; he got up and staggered towards the door. I stepped back, waiting for him to arrive, but he passed my door and stood still before Maud’s room.

I don’t know what happened in my brain. I don’t know if I acted out of jealousy or if I just wanted to protect my little sister. By this day, I prefer to opt for the second hypothesis.

When Dad entered her room, I left mine and tiptoed to the kitchen. I grabbed a big pair of scissors and looked at my reflection on the blades.

I don’t remember much of what happened next. What I know is that I was standing behind my father, he was hovering over Maud, she was scared and small, shivering under the covers.

Dad acknowledged my presence behind him and he turned around with a scary look on his face. He started screaming at me, commanding me to go back to my room. But I didn’t.

I stepped forward, stabbing him in his shoulder. The scissors ripped his clothes and his skin easily. He roared and I stepped back, as a splash of blood covered my face. My heart stopped beating as I stabbed him again and again and again.

I lost count after the tenth time, but I went on, raging on his lifeless body. I stopped when I heard Maud’s soft sobs.

I looked down at my bloody hands and told her to stay there.

I didn’t know what to do, so I did the only thing that came to my mind. I called Joanne and asked her to tell me how to summon that demon. Because God only knew… I needed a miracle.

Twenty minutes later – it was almost midnight – Joanne showed up to my door holding a metal box in her hands. When she saw me, covered in blood, she dropped the box and it flipped open at her feet.

Bones and dirt escaped the box and I stared at them, wondering where the hell did she find them.

“Did you kill him?” she asked me, her lower lip trembled as she kneeled, picking up the items for the ritual.

I nodded silently, I still didn’t want to say the words out loud. “He wanted to hurt Maud.”

Only few hours earlier, Joanne and I were smiling before a cake with thirteen candles on it. When I’m in trouble, I still think about that moment to calm myself.

Maud decided to leave her room at that moment, joining us by the front door. Her eyes were swollen and red, her nightgown was red with Dad’s blood.

I had my copper hair styled in two braids, like he used to like it. Now his blood was drying in it.

“What are you doing?” she whispered, hugging herself and looking at the box that Joanne was holding.

“Looking for help” I said, trying to sound convincing.

“I need a picture of you, do you have any?” asked Joanne and I nodded.

“Dad keeps picture of us in his wallet” I said, and went away to collect one of my pictures. I gave it to her without even looking at it and she put it in the box with the other things.

“We can’t do it here” Maud gestured both of us to follow her and we did without questioning her.

The three of us walked into the night, the air was still and warm. It was mid-June, the neighbourhood was asleep, only a few lamp posts illuminated the street.

Maud and I were barefoot and covered in blood, I had no idea what a stranger would have thought looking at us.

We stopped when we reached a crossroads and Joanne stood right in the centre of it. She kneeled and started scraping the ground with her bare hands. Even if I didn’t know what she was doing, I started helping her, and soon enough Maud joined us too.

We dug a hole in the ground and I put the box in it, covering it quickly to bury it completely. With dirty hands, Joanne gave me a piece of paper. “Now, read it aloud.”

I lowered my eyes and read it to myself. It seemed Latin to me, I wasn’t sure what it meant. “What is it?”

“An incantation, to summon the demon” she answered, taking Maud’s hand and stepping back.

I was alone in the centre of the crossroads, with blood on my face and dirt under my broken nails. I was scared and helpless, I sighed loudly and read the words. “ _Daemon, esto subjecto voluntati meae_.”

Nothing happened at first, and I thought that was it. It was all bullshit and I was going to get in a lot of trouble and they were also going to take Maud away from me.

I started to feel the tears forming in the corners of my eyes when I heard a voice from behind me.

“What do we have here? Three little killers?”

We turned around at once, my breath caught in my throat. The man was hidden in the dark, but I could tell he was tall and wearing a dark grey suit.

“He’s not the one who talked to me” Joanne’s voice was broken. “I talked with a woman.”

That was the last thing I wanted to hear, honestly.

He shrugged, stepping into the light of the lamp post. “Marleen’s a little busy, I hope you don’t mind. Doesn’t seem you have much of a choice, to me… do you?”

I really didn’t.

“What can I do for you, ladies?” he asked in an endearing voice.

I swallowed hard, my throat was completely dry. I had no idea what to do, or to say… but I had to say something. “I killed my father.”

“Having Daddy issues?” he joked with a smirk.

I ignored him as I closed my eyes. Dad’s face flashed behind my closed lids and I felt something heavy hitting me in the stomach. I wanted to vomit. “I need to go away, me and my sister” I said, looking back to Maud. “I want us to be okay.”

The demon looked at me and his stare transfixed my body. “I can grant you ten perfectly safe years,” he swore, in a more serious voice.

Ten years is a lot of time. I could have worked on something, we could have disappeared… it would be more than enough.

I looked back at him and nodded. “Okay…”

He smiled slyly, stepping towards me. “Let’s seal the deal with a kiss, shall we?”

 _A what_? I thought – as my body tensed. My head snapped towards Joanne, who reluctantly mouthed a ‘go on’.

What the hell was I doing? I sighed, shutting my eyes and closing the space between me and the demon. He was severely taller than I was, he had to lean on me, joining his hands behind his back.

It was quick and chaste, not the kind of kisses I was used to…

When I opened my eyes, he was already gone, and we were once again alone in the darkness.

Was it all a joke? Was it a scam?

“Where did he go?” I heard Maud’s voice, scared and high pitched.

“It’s okay” Joanne reassured us, “that’s the same thing that happened to me… just wait.”

“But we don’t have time!” I yelled, losing control. My heart was beating fast, I could feel my blood rushing through my veins. As I was about to say something else, a horse’s neigh broke the silence.

My whole body was petrified. It was over. I was there, covered in my Dad’s blood, with a box filled with bones buried at my feet.

The carriage stopped a few feet away from us and a man clothed in black hopped out of the driver’s seat. He reached to the wooden door and opened it, offering me to enter.

I looked back at my sister and Joanne; gasping, I reached out to Maud. She took my hand and I held her tight. “Go back home” I told Joanne. “Call the police tomorrow morning, don’t tell anybody what we did.”

We walked into the carriage without speaking. I put my hand on the cold window and looked at Joanne through the glass. She nodded, scared but serious and waved at me with the weakest smile.

The driver held the reins and goad the horse, it started walking as he drove us away from the crossroads and into the woods that surrounded our neighbourhood.

I stared at Joanne’s figure getting smaller and smaller; that was the last time I saw her.


	2. Missing calls from Hell

The carriage travelled the whole night, we left Epsom without clothes, money or food. For days, we travelled, the man who was with us fed us and helped us getting rid of our dirty clothes. He never said a word…

We arrived in London, and he left us at a crowded harbour. We didn’t have a ticket or money, but a sailor pushed us aboard, and we set sail. It was like a dream, we didn’t know what was happening or how, but it seemed that everything was going as we had planned.

We arrived in America weeks later, nobody ever bothered us. Once in New York, we met a man, walking by Wall Street. He said I had a pretty face and that I looked older than I was.

He had a bar, and I started working for him. Maud and I served the tables, he was kind and never ever touched me or my sister. He didn’t treat us like daughters but as human beings.

One day, four years after we’ve arrived, Maud met a guy from Detroit and ran away with him. He was in New York for work and he fell madly in love with my sister. He took her away from me, but the only thing I could hope for was her happiness.

I stayed there, in that bar, working. The world outside was changing, but I didn’t care… the only thing I cared about was the fact that my sister was alive, I had a roof over my head and a good man looking out for me.

Five years after Maud had left, he died. A heart attack, quick and lethal. I was devastated.

My rock had gone away and I was now alone and lonely.

Business was bad, atrocious. The men who took his bar didn’t know how to manage the money and sooner than later we were on the verge of bankruptcy. They wanted to close the bar.

Until, one day, a businessman took over the property and modernised it. Taking everyone by surprise, he decided to maintain the old staff. I couldn’t believe it.

This time, I didn’t serve the tables. I was a bartender. I couldn’t be happier.

It was mid-June, it was a typical night at the club. The bar was crowded and filled with smoke; a man sat in front of me with a cigar between his lips. He eyed me and smirk, asking for a double whiskey.

I turned around to take the bottle and when I turned back, his face was horribly disformed. I screamed, letting the bottle go, and it shattered to the ground into a million pieces.

“Goddamn, dolly! Be careful!” the man jerked away, swearing and leaving me stunned. What the hell was that?

A waitress asked me if I was okay, I said yes and tried to get back at work. Only a minute later I heard what sounded like the growling of a feral dog.

Looking around scared, I noticed I was the only one hearing it – it was then that I saw it: a horse-sized black beast, eyes red as fire and white sharp teeth. I screamed again, trying to run for the bathroom, but when I reached the doors, I felt a deep pain in my back. I cried loudly, and the last thing I heard was the crowd screaming.

The world was in black and white, moving slowly. I could still see the beast feasting on my body and then running away, with the crowd around me crying and yelling, the sounds were muffled as if I was hearing everything from behind a curtain.

In the corner of my eye I saw a shadow passing, I turned away and I was in the middle of nowhere – it looked like a forest. A bright light almost blinded me; closing my eyes, I felt a warming sensation growing inside my stomach.

When I opened my eyes, the world was in colour again. I could see the trees above me, the blue sky through the leaves and I could hear the birds tweeting.

I looked around myself and I noticed blood on my clothes – and my clothes weren’t my clothes. I was wearing a pale pink dress and no shoes, instead of my waitress uniform.

Looking at my hands, I could see they were covered in dirt. Next to my body there was a shovel, and then I noticed I was lying in a half-covered hole in the ground.

I was scared and confused, it was night time a moment before and now it was day and I wasn’t in the bar, but in a hole dug in the middle of nowhere. What was happening?

A bush moved in front of me and then I was suddenly attacked by the same beast that attacked me before. I screamed, as I tried to push it away. Its jaw was a mere inch from my face, I could smell its breath and it smelled like blood.

The eyes of the beast were glowing in anger, as it pinned me to the ground, scraping my body with its claws digging inside my body and then it bit me on the neck.

Excruciating pain ripped me through my body as I exhaled my last breath, and then everything went grey again.

A shadow passed behind me and I wasn’t in the woods anymore. I was in a dark room, it looked like an abandoned storage shed. There were wooden boards and empty boxes everywhere; when the colours came back, I felt a light pain in the back of my head, but it disappeared quickly.

I wasn’t alone, there was a man in the room with me and the beast was sitting quietly next to him. They were both looking at me in confusion.

I did the only thing I could think of, and quickly launched myself towards the door. The man snapped his fingers and the door slammed into my face, I didn’t have time to scream the beast was once again attacking me.

This time, I saw clearly a face looking at me. He was a man, with a long sad face, I saw it for a moment and then he was gone.

I found myself in a kitchen; I was sitting on a chair, the smell of vomit filled the room and once again the strange man with the beast was looking at me from the doorframe.

“Okay,” he sighed and he half closed his eyes, peering at me getting slightly frustrated. “Would you please tell me what the hell is going on here?”

I grabbed a knife from the table and jumped on my feet, I had no idea who he was, but I was scared enough to try at least and defend myself. “I should be the one asking questions!” I half yelled, half said. “Who the fuck are you and-“ I had to stop because I caught my own reflection on the knife I was holding as a weapon.

My face was different. The woman I was looking at was not me. That wasn’t my face.

“What-“ I couldn’t finish the sentence because the strange man appeared behind me and snapped my head, braking my neck.

The sad man with the long face stared at me with pitch black eyes, I tried to speak but then the world disappeared and reappeared quickly around me.

I was in a bedroom, there was blood everywhere. A man was lying face down on the bed, his head was open in half.

I was sitting next to him, half covered under the blankets. I could see a hole in my stomach, it was quickly closing by itself, leaving me with a bloody nightgown with a hole in it.

I looked up and saw the man with the beast. He was holding a big rifle in his hands and aiming directly at me. “What the hell are you?” he asked, in a British accent.

Looking at the weapon, and holding my hand on the closed wound on my stomach, I could only think of the other man who was following me. “Who’s the man with the long face?” I asked. “Who are you? What is… _that_?” I pointed at the beast, my voice sounded different.

He took the shot.

The room was black and white again. The man with the rifle was standing beside the body – my body. Only that wasn’t me.

The beast was sniffing the air, it looked lost.

I saw the man with the long face waiting in the doorframe and when he noticed me, he turned his back to me. This time I followed him.

He was tall, dressed in black. “Who are you?” I asked. The strangest thing was that I couldn’t hear my own voice.

He didn’t stop walking, he was holding a cane in his right hand. I noticed a big ring on his ring finger.

He left via the front door and I followed him. The world was still in black and white. We were on a pavement, I couldn’t recognise the street. There were shops and cars, it didn’t look like New York.

“Hey!” I called to him, and he gestured me to keep following him.

In a heartbeat, we were sitting at a table, in a diner. The man with the long face was sitting me in front of me, eating… pizza.

Nobody seemed to notice me. I waved at the waitress, but she didn’t even flinch.

“You’re on the other side of the veil, they can’t see you or hear you” he said, in a calm voice, sipping from a straw.

“Am I a ghost?” I felt my heart getting heavier, as I looked down at my hands. I was wearing the same nightgown with the hole on my stomach.

“No” he simply replied. He put his glass down and took another bite of his pizza.

“Who are you?” my mind went back to the man with the British accent. “And why is that man with the beast trying to kill me?”

“One question at the time” he said, cleaning his mouth with a towel. “I am Death, and you are a Wonderer.”

He was _Death_. Did I believe him? Yes. By this point, I could believe anything.

“I- a what?” I asked, barely able to speak. My voice was still inaudible to me, and I asked myself if I was yelling.

“A Wonderer” he repeated. “You’re a living soul. Which means that while the body you’re inhabiting keeps getting old and eventually die, your soul is eternal and once the body is no longer useful, you’ll switch to another one, previously emptied.”

He was talking gibberish.

“This is a corpse?” I hugged myself, then tried to look at my reflection on the spoon but I couldn’t grab it. My hand went completely through it and the table. “What-“

“I told you, you’re behind the veil. No, at the moment, you’re the image of the last body you inhabited.”

“But… if I can’t touch anything why can I be sitting on this chair?”

He stayed quiet. “Back to your question. The man that is hunting you is a demon. You sold your soul to him ten years ago, and now he’s here to collect what is his.”

“I never sold my soul!” I objected, but then I remembered the deal. The demon promised me ten years of peaceful life for me and my sister… “He never said I was selling my soul to him!”

“He’s a demon, what did you expect?”

“But… what… what do I do?”

“This is why I am here. I am responsible for your existence; I created you along with a few other specimens, but I lost track of you twenty-four year ago, when you were kidnapped.”

By the look on my face he must have understood I wasn’t following him.

“I gave you the gift when you were born, then I lost you and I found you again when you killed the man who took you.”

“I killed my Dad” I said, calmly.

“He was just a man. This is not the point. The point is, I know we would have met again in death, but I wasn’t expecting you to sell your soul. Now, the deal is done and you can’t do anything about it. Your soul is his.”

“How… very helpful” I was boiling. All this information that was spouted at me, not one bit of it made any sense. Who the hell was the man who took me? Where were my parents? What about Maud?

“One thing you can do is another deal. Change the terms, bid another soul in exchange of yours and you’ll be free.”

He was gone already. And the world was in colour again.

This time I was in a dirty alley, my clothes were ripped and my throat was open. The wound soon started to close by itself.

It took the man with the beast only a few seconds to find me.

“Wait!” I yelled, looking at the beast. “I spoke with the man with the long face, he told me he was… Death” how strange it was to say those words out loud?

The man looked at me silently. “You really spoke to Death, didn’t you?”

I nodded in response. “He said I am something. A Wonderer, he called me. He said my soul can’t die and that I have to zap from body to body… he told me to make another deal, to give you another soul in exchange for mine.”

The demon grinned. “You really believe I’m giving up on you, darling? I have no idea what the bloody hell you are, but you look rare to me. I will have your little soul, I just have to find a way to get you out of that pretty meatsuit of yours.”


	3. Gone with the Wind

The demon’s name was Crowley. I didn’t recognise him because he changed his ‘meatsuit’ once in New York. He said it was brand new, but it didn’t look very new to me. When I told him, he seemed pretty pissed about it.  He took me to a woman called Naomi, he said she was an Angel and maybe she could sort out what to do with me.

She made me sit on a chair and she literally put her whole arm inside my stomach and touched my soul with her hand. It felt hot and that fucking hurt. The result was the exact same I’d had from Death.

Immortal, can’t separate the soul from the body, zap from one body to another when I die.

To him, the trip was useless, to me… not so much.

There were Angels, and Hell… and probably Heaven too. I asked him if my father was in Hell and he told me he would answer once I got him a soul.

So, there I was, in a fancy dress, sitting at a table with a sweaty, fat man.

We talked; his name was Jeff, he was married with three kids. His wife had died, he had lost his job and he needed money. I told him I was just a messenger, but I could talk to someone who could grant him whatever he wanted. He could have had everything, absolutely everything that he wanted and for ten long years he and his children would have lived a happy and easy life.

It was perfect, it was all going well. Until I mentioned the fact that after ten years his soul would have gone to Hell, to be tortured for eternity.

Then, he jumped onto his feet and fled. I never saw Jeff again. I hope he’s okay. Probably dead by now, it was 1933 and he was in his 50’s already.

Anyway, I was now without a prey and I had no idea what to do. I could have left, but Crowley could find me wherever I went – something about my soul being his and the fact that he could trace me with the Hellhound. By the way, the poor thing was as sweet as strawberries, they used the poor beast to do their dirty work. It was mine now, and I called it Romeo.

Romeo had my scent imprinted on him, and after a few days he became so good to me. Apparently, I wasn’t supposed to see him or the other Hellhounds, and I couldn’t actually see any of the others but him. It had to do with the fact that he had imprinted on me.

Back to the story. I still had to find one soul for Crowley…

I was sitting all alone at my table, when someone got me a drink. I accepted it and they kept coming; a man joined me after the third drink, we started drinking together.

I laughed at his poor jokes, and he kept touching me even though I clearly didn’t want to be touched. I got drunk, _really_ drunk… and I offered him the same deal I offered Jeff. I didn’t even remember his name, but he accepted it and as drunk as he was, he kissed Crowley without blinking.

Done, I was free, right? Nope.

Crowley said something along the lines of ‘you’re worth much more than just one soul, pet, you’ll keep working for me until I decide it’s enough’.

I was pissed and drunk, after I vomited on his new shoes – which didn’t help, I think I passed out and I woke up on a couch.

His mansion was humongous. The most gorgeous house I had ever seen. Not that I’d seen many, to be honest, but it was amazing. I was allowed basically anywhere except for the bathroom and the living room.

Romeo had destroyed one of the bedrooms, so I had to keep an eye on him. Which was quite difficult since he was as big as a horse and with the attitude of a nasty toddler.

But he wanted my soul, so he had to stick with the whole deal.

I was still planning on how to make those deals, I couldn’t close them but I could convince them to sign up. Getting drunk all the time didn’t seem a good idea, so I had to work something out.

One night, I remember, my hunt was absolutely an epic fail. I had worked my pray, cooked it slow and good. I had the deal served on a silver plate… but then again, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and had to mention the condemned soul… it might seem a simple thing, it’s not lying – I kept telling myself, it’s just hiding the truth.

Long story short, Crowley and I got into a fight. It wasn’t actually a fight. It was more him screaming and me rolling my eyes, telling Romeo to be a good boy and not to kill Crowley.

Then, the weirdest shit happened: he said that if he couldn’t get my soul and I wasn’t even good at getting them for him, he might as well take the whole body and be done with it.

At this point, I was scared, Romeo was pissed and Crowley was literally leaking red steam out of his body. I’d never seen something like that, I honestly thought he was going to explode. When the red smoke engulfed me, I tried not to breath in, but it was too difficult as it was getting in my eyes and nose.

I had no idea what was happening, then I felt something like a sparkle. I saw black and then it was as if someone had lit a match in the darkness. I could see and feel and hear, but I wasn’t controlling my body.

Romeo started to get very angry, and I had to calm him down. So, I just did what I wanted and pushed my will against Crowley’s. I like to think about it as if red smoke met white smoke and became one gigantic pink, fluffy ball of demonic smoke.

I wasn’t fully controlling my body and he wasn’t either. It was fucking _weird_ , but God, was it good. I had never felt so close to someone in my entire life. Not that I tried to look for closeness, but still.

“What the bloody hell are you doing?” I could hear what I learnt to be my own voice say.

I didn’t know where to look, Crowley’s body was on the ground. He was blinking, confused. “Nothing!” I said.

“Well, stop” he ordered, with my voice. It was like talking to myself, only I could hear his thoughts and feel his presence inside me, boiling and swirling with my own essence.

“I’m not doing anything” I repeated, as his body got up and walked across the room, then running away. “Hey, your meatsuit is beating it. Romeo, fetch!”

The Hellhound dropped his head to its side, confused, then obeyed his order and started running after Crowley’s body.

“Don’t ruin it, you stupid dog!” I heard my own voice screaming and my throat was soaring. He then left my body and to be honest, I didn’t like the feeling of emptiness.

I like to think about it as demon sex; sure, I like actual sex. God, actual sex was good, especially with Crowley, but to be honest, I think demon sex is the closest thing to Heaven I can get.

He came back in the room adjusting his suit and the Hellhound followed him wiggling his tail.

“Am I at least close enough?” I asked, tired.

“Close to what?” he sat in his favourite armchair and started pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

“To get you the number of souls to be free… remember? Our deal.”

“Why are you so eager to be free, pet? Don’t I treat you good enough?” he joked, sipping at his whiskey, and grinning while I rolled my eyes. “You’re living in a mansion, you don’t have to pour drinks to horny morons – don’t even try to object,” he added while I had already opened my mouth to speak, “and you have a much fancier wardrobe than you had before. What is it that you want so much that I won’t let you have?”

“You said no to the Italian food, yesterday…”

“I’m not paying to get a cheap version of spaghetti and meatballs. That’s not even a thing, you know? You want to eat Italian food? We could go there in a second” he snarled, then raised his arm, ready to snap his fingers, but I stopped him.

“That’s not it…”

“Then what is it?” he started to get annoyed.

I sighed, looking away. “I want to go visit my sister. I want to know if she’s okay. Even if she won’t recognise me…”

“All you had to do was ask, my dear” he said, sighing, and vanished.

I was surprised... he was a demon, but he seemed to have fun around me. Showing off and using his demonic powers to impress me. It was working.

Crowley came back few minutes later, I was almost hoping to see Maud with him but she wasn’t. He looked at me and shrugged. “Looks like the taste for gambling runs in the family.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Wanna come and say hello to the little sis?” he said, offering me his hand and I took it.

My heart was beating furiously. I hadn’t seen Maud in years. And there was no way she could possibly recognise me.

What was I going to say? She would have never believed me… or maybe she would have. She knew demons were real, so why wouldn’t she believe my story…

We teleported to Chicago, she lived in a beautiful house. She was pregnant, and she had a toddler dancing around her legs. She was laughing while a man picked up the little boy in his arms and hugged him.

“Do you want to keep spying on them through the window or do you want to go ring the bell?” Crowley asked, crossing his arms and sounding bored.

I couldn’t do it. I was too afraid… too many things had change. Including my face. “Let’s go home, I changed my mind.”

“Thought so…” he clicked his tongue and turned his back to me, offering me his arm.

I was so disappointed with myself. But maybe it was better that way.

“So,” he said, once we were in his living room once again, “are you done complaining about me keeping you captive and depriving you of mediocre Italian food?”

I sighed, looking at the ceiling, a little sad. “Yes,” I whined.

“Good,” then snapped his fingers and I felt a shift in the things I was wearing. I looked down and noticed the silky red dress that I was now wearing. It looked incredibly expensive. “Because while I was looking for your sister, I also booked my favourite restaurant in Rome.”

It was late when we finished our meal, but then he started looking around, searching for something. I knew that look. “Wait here, darling. I have to meet a client, it won’t take long.”

I have to say that, watching him closing a successful deal, always made me happy, and quite aroused too. It also turned him on, so I wasn’t surprised when he looked over the client’s shoulder to glance over at me, undressing me with his eyes.

That night’s sex is branded with fire in my memory.

The view from that 5 star hotel room in Italy was blissful. And I bet we were quite a view too, for whoever was looking.

He loved taking me against the window, with my silky red dress still on, grabbing and pulling my hair too tight and pounding inside of me mercilessly.

My skin was sore and bruised; I had never enjoyed sex before. It was something awful, filled with regret and hatred.

Now, it was different. I felt not only loved, but almost praised. Sex was fun, and passionate and satisfying. It took me a while to appreciate it, but when I finally did, I couldn’t get enough of him.

Sometimes I could almost feel my soul shaking in its shell while I rode him. With my nails sinking into his shoulders and our mouths slammed together. I would run my hand through his hair, gripping and grinding myself onto him, as he had his hands around my body, pushing me harder against his. Until the bliss of the orgasm would hit us both, and we would just lay in bed, exhausted and happy.

Crowley was a demon, and a slimy son of a bitch, but hell… he was one goddamn lover.

And when, a few years later, after spending a night at the theatre, I asked him if we were a thing or we were just randomly sleeping together, he looked at me in the eyes and he replied: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

And I had to live with the doubt for decades, before having an actual answer.


	4. The Cult

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter I mention the main character’s name. I won’t use it much, only a couple of times (it’s not even her real name, but spoiler…) but I wanted to put it as a warning anyways.

Years passed, war arrived. It was a great boost for business; mothers that wanted their sons to live, wives that wanted their husbands to come back home safe.

There was a voice inside my head that was telling me that it wasn’t right, but had started to quieten as the years went by.

I didn’t consider myself “evil”. I was just doing my job, it was my duty. It was that or nothing else, I couldn’t do much about it. Sometimes it was fun – the funniest part was watching Crowley soft-soaping all those people… damn, he had style.

I was a good student, and I was learning fast. Crowley was proud of me, but he never really told me, he had his ways to show me his appreciation.

It was around the mid-40s when I had my first encounter with Hunters. Crowley sent me to look for possible deals when I met two men. They seemed interested, until they cuffed me and covered my head with a hood. Then, they hit me in the head and I passed out.

I woke up tied to a chair, in the middle of a barn. One of the men was standing right in front of me, holding a tiny bottle, while the other was reading something from a black book.

I was confused, and possibly injured with a concussion. “What’s happening?” I asked, as I tried to focus my eyes on the room around me.

“Shut, up! Demon” the man with the bottle said, and then splashed me with water in the face.

I blinked and shook my head. “Who the hell are you?”

He splashed me again. “I said shut up, you bitch!” he then turned his head towards the other man. “Hey, Carl… it’s not working.”

“Keep tryin’, I’m reading…” he replied, turning the page furiously.

“I told you Holy Water’s not working! Call Campbell…” his voice was slightly scared, he couldn’t keep his eyes off me, and his legs were shaking. He raised his arm, pointing the bottle at me.

“If you splash me one more time…” I warned him, and he didn’t listen. So, I leaned forward and screamed at the top of my lungs: “Romeo!”

There were sounds outside the barn, then a ghostly howl. Upon hearing the scratchy sounds of his claws on the door, the two men faced the door, telling each other what to do.

When my big boy ripped the door open as if it was made of paper, the started shooting but their efforts were useless. He jumped on one of them, lifting his body from the ground and then wrestling as if it  were a toy. I tried to free my hands, but the knot was too tight.

Romeo finished with the other man too, and then Crowley appeared outside the barn, where the door once stood.

“Took you long enough!” I said with a grunt.

“Sorry, dear. I can’t help you. You’re in the middle of a demon’s trap” he gestured with his hands and I took a better look inside the room. A symbol was painted on the wooden floor, it was as large as the whole room. Crowley couldn’t step inside… and I was still tied to the chair.

“Did you know these two?” I asked, looking at the men on the ground.

Crowley shook his head. “Hunters, they kill things like us. But they were not particularly good with demons.”

“I don’t like Hunters…” I said, trying to hop my way to the door. Crowley was way too pleased by the sight of me desperately wiggling around. When I reached the limit of the symbol, he snapped his finger and my hands were free. “Couldn’t you have done this _before_?” I asked with my eyes wide open.

“And miss the show? Never” he grinned.

I was pissed, but I wanted to know more about these Hunters, so I asked him, ignoring his words. Crowley told me what he knew, and then he showed me a place, a bar, where supernatural creatures could meet and chill, because I really didn’t like the fact that those men were killing my kin. Living with a demon and knowing I wasn’t a human being, was really changing the way I saw the world.

The atmosphere in the club was incredible. Witches, vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters and more, all under the same roof. It was magical, it was heaven. I loved it. So, I started going there more and more.

I started performing as a singer and actress, I wasn’t very “special” but I was a good host and I wanted a job, besides being Crowley’s bait for his deals.

I shed twice; the first time was a mistake. A deal that went wrong. The second time I wanted to. I had lived with that body for almost 15 years. Crowley loved it, I loved it. My performances at the bar were a little low, though. I was starting to age a little too much.

I was twenty-seven. I would always be twenty-seven forever, but my body didn’t agree.

So sometimes I had to cause my own death. The first time I did it I was scared and excited at the same time. I took a whole bunch of pills and according to Crowley I puked all over the expensive Persian carpet, before starting to foam and convulse like a fish out of the water. I don’t remember much, but he told me it took me a while to die.

I stopped celebrating my birthday and started having a death party, where my friends were invited. I once let them all choose a weapon and use it on me at the end of the night. Crowley had made me take a sip from a glass of excellent, poisoned, red wine.

That year was a mess, but it was fun.

Death was waiting for me on the other side of the veil and we would talk for a few minutes, before I would start traveling to find a new body.

For forty years everything went just fine. I was happy, truly. I felt loved and protected, I felt strong and satisfied.

Obviously, it was too good to be true, and I should have known it couldn’t last. I’m surprised it lasted this long, honestly.

Crowley and I were friends, lovers, partners in crime… but he wasn’t the one in sole charge. He once told me about his boss, Lilith, and he told me they were lovers too, and that I shouldn’t worry about me, that he could manage to hide me from her.

I knew little about his life in Hell, and Hell in general. He didn’t like it very much, he preferred living on earth, with me and all the comfort of his mansion. Sometimes, he had to go there to do some demon stuff, stuff I couldn’t know about, but I didn’t really care.

I wasn’t interested in visiting Hell, at all.

I don’t remember the date, but I remember it was around the middle of 1984, or something like that; I decided that it was time to shed again.

My death party was a success, but I decided to die after it. So, when the house was silent and it was pitch dark outside, I started to think about how to do it.

It was hard to decide… I wanted it to be simple, Crowley wanted it not to be too messy.

I suggested that he could just snap my neck, but he said it was _too_ simple, so I had to think about something else.

Drowning myself in the bathtub seemed like a romantic idea, so I ran a bath and placed and lit the candles and I was ready – I just didn’t consider the fact that survival instinct would have kicked in, once my life was in danger.

Crowley was pushing my head down in the water, I started struggling a lot and when my lungs were hurting like hell, I just did the only thing that seemed logical. I bit him and he released me on the spot.

Once I pushed myself up, I took a deep breath and felt the air filling my lungs. I coughed and spat out the water I had ingested.

“Bloody hell, Pam! You bit me!” Crowley barked, offended.

I blinked, coughing violently. “I- I’m… sorry…” I tried to speak, pressing my hands above my chest, trying to feel my heart beating. “I can’t do it like this…”

“You _bit me_ …” he repeated, shocked.

“I’m sorry!” my throat hurt, speaking was a bad idea. “Can you… can you put me on the bed and shoot me?” I asked, out of breath.

He shook his head. “I don’t want to ruin the sheets, they’re a gift.”

I sighed. “Okay. Try again… I won’t bite you, I promise.” Crowley put a hand on my shoulder and I stopped him. “No, wait… I can’t. Not like this… do something else… please?”

“I- what do you want me to do?”

“Hand me the razorblade, would you?”

It was the only idea that came into my mind. I was already in the bathtub, so… “Okay, easy and painless, right?”

He raised an eyebrow and sat on the edge of the tub. “Put your hands underwater, so blood won’t spray everywhere…”

I nodded and placed the blade over my left wrist, I pushed hard and I cut a deep line. Blood started gushing out of my skin and I immediately lowered my wrist into the water.

I started feeling dizzy and my heart started beating faster and then more slowly. “Bad idea…” I whispered, as my sight started to fail.

“Too late, darling” Crowley bent over my body and kissed my lids as I closed them.

My journey begun again. In a colourless world, I started to wander, looking for an empty body to take.

I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. I sat up and felt a strong pain in my chest. I looked down and saw a long blade stuck deep in my heart. I was naked, and surrounded by strangers.

A crowd of people wearing black capes with pointy hoodies were staring at me, speechless. One man was standing right beside me. “It worked…” he whispered.

The crowd exploded in a long applause. I spotted Crowley, looking at me, from the crowd, too busy to pay attention to him. He seemed to enjoy the view of my new body.

Grabbing the handle of the knife inside my heart, I took it out and my body healed itself. I looked at my reflection. I had big doe eyes and pale blond hair, not bad.

The man beside me kneeled in front of me and started to praise me. It felt nice…

Obviously, the guys had no idea what was happening. “Beware!” I said, in a solemn tone. “You have released my power” I looked around me. I was in a dark room, it seemed like a basement. I raised both hands and looked at Crowley. He was looking at me, confused but intrigued. When he got the hint, he snapped his fingers and my body was floating in the air; I was wearing a dark, silky, long dress.

Murmurs and voices filled the room. Those sons of bitches tried some kind of spell that obviously failed, killing a poor woman, and now I was going to have a little fun with them. “I will give you immense retribution, but… in exchange, I will ask you to do something for me…”

And so, I started a long speech, and they told me their deepest secrets, one by one, sixty six men and women; sixty six souls in one night.

It was a little too much to be unnoticed.

That night, Crowley and I celebrated our victory. Poor girl was even a virgin, in ten years, she would be avenged.

The morning after, I woke up to a nervous Crowley. It was never a good sign.

His boss called him, Lilith wanted to know his secret. And he had to tell her, and now she wanted to see me.

Crowley took me to a place that looked an abandoned storage shed, I had no idea where it was. It was empty, except for what looked like a hospital bed. I couldn’t say a word, I was lying on the bed; my hands and feet were chained. Crowley checked my wrists and ankles, when he secured a chain around my neck, he whispered in my ear: “This is going to hurt, love. But try not to scream, it will hurt much more if you scream.”


	5. The First Demon

It was cold; it was a shock. Hell was cold and humid.

Lilith showed up shortly after, and she tortured me, chained to that bed and I didn’t scream, not once. After a while of excruciating pain, she got mad and looked at Crowley. “She’s boring. Chain her up, I will keep her with me a little longer.”

That didn’t sound good.

Lilith disappeared, and Crowley looked unimpressed when he unchained me. I had no voice, she had peeled off a whole layer of skin from my right hand.

Crowley fixed me without speaking, then he grabbed my shoulder and we zapped away.

I was scared. “I can’t die…” I told him, in a rush, while we were walking through a dark corridor. “Why am I here? I am useless here…”

Crowley was looking in front of him, he had a firm grip on my forearm. “Your soul is priceless. She’s going to try and drag you out of your shell. I had to give her your contract.”

“What?” I asked, I couldn’t believe he had to do such a thing. I didn’t even know it was possible to pass the contract to someone else. “What’s going to happen to me?”

“I told you… Lilith’s going to have fun. She’s going to push you until you’re one step away from death and then she’ll fix you, until she finds a way to have your soul.”

Knowing what was going to happen didn’t help at all, on the contrary, I was terrified. Time stopped when Lilith started torturing me. I don’t know how long it took, but I remember every second. I remember every time she used her knife on me, how she filleted my skin as if I were a fish.

Sometimes, when she was bored, she would hand the whip to Crowley and he wasn’t any softer with me. When he tortured me, he had the same passion in his red eyes as when we had sex.

I never saw any other demons, just Lilith and Crowley. Many years later, I learned that having a body while being in Hell was something that didn’t happen every day.

Lilith tried very hard, but she couldn’t reach my soul. The more she’d brake my body, the more my soul would stay strong.

I could see it in her eyes that she wasn’t pleased with the result. Sometimes I cried, sometimes I screamed, but I never begged, I never pleaded.

Once in a while, Crowley would put me on the wheel and he would hang me upside down. Or he would have me tied on a chair, with my hands chained and he would rip my nails using a pincer.

One time Lilith cut all my fingers and then Crowley sewed shut my eyelids… by the end of my punishment, I started enjoying the feeling of pain. Whenever they hit me, I would feel alive and my soul would glow.

Lilith hardly spoke, but Crowley… he had a large mouth. I learnt that my “father” – the man I used to call Dad, was himself in Hell. I asked if he could do me a favour, and the next time he came to torture me, Crowley brought me my Dad’s tongue on a silver plate.

Joanne, my old friend, was a freshly made demon now… as she had sold her soul to a Crossroad demon right before I did.

Maud, my beloved sister, died in 1937. She sold her soul too, in 1927, only five years after I had killed my father. She did it for a better life – my love wasn’t enough. She wanted money and a rich husband, a big house and fancy clothes.

Crowley asked me if I wanted to pay her a visit and I said yes. He and Lilith unchained me and brought me to Maud. She was crucified, naked, with feral hellhounds feasting on her bowels.

Once the dogs were away, I could reach to her. She didn’t recognise me. Crowley handed me a long and shiny blade, and I stabbed her in the abdomen, dragging the knife up, I ripped her body open in half.

She was already dead, it wasn’t her body that I was hurting, but her rotting soul. How could she have done that to me?

I loved her, I would have died for her… and she abandoned me. She left me alone, in a country that wasn’t my own.

Maud screamed and cried and begged, but I didn’t stop until I was satisfied. Lilith watched me and, finally, she started to think I was fun. I hated her. I would have stabbed her too, if I had the chance.

I don’t know how long they let me rage on my sister’s soul, but they had to drag me away.

I watched as Crowley unleashed a pack of hellhounds, letting them eat my Dad’s soul until there was nothing left of him.

That was my reward, for being just as bad as a demon. I started feeding on hate and pain, until I forgot my humanity.

I could feel my own soul starting to rot inside me and when my body started to deteriorate, Crowley decided it was time for me to leave Hell. I had to change my body again, because the one that I was using was too damaged.

Crowley told me he had to convince Lilith, but in the end, he managed to do it. He said that he had to tell her about how Death wasn’t pleased with me being treated as a demon, and when a Horseman demanded something, even the first demon couldn’t say no.

This is how I knew about War, Famine and Pestilence. I wanted to meet them, so Death set up a meeting.

I wasn’t the first one of Death’s creations that wanted to meet the whole family, but when I asked him if he could introduce me to someone like me, he told me that it was for the best that two Wanderers would never cross their existences.

The family reunion didn’t last long. I couldn’t stand the sight of Pestilence and Famine, and War was getting on my nerves. He couldn’t stop himself from laughing in my face, telling me how stupid I was for having sold my soul to a simpleton crossroad demon.

I replied that Crowley was the Queen’s right hand, and that with my help, he became the King of the Crossroads. At this point, War proceeded to tell me about how Crowley became a demon in the first place. He told me he sold his soul in exchange for an extra three inches below the belt – which I didn’t believe at first, but then I had to reconsider, when he specified that he wanted to hit double digits. Then we started bickering, and then fighting… and then I just remember grabbing a knife and waking up in a different body.

I had to wait longer, because Crowley didn’t hold my contract anymore, so he couldn’t trace me anymore. But Lilith could, and so could Romeo. The Hellhound found me, and he wasn’t alone. I was happy to see that Crowley had followed him.

I hated the idea that Lilith could trace me wherever I went, but I also knew that she believed I was useless in my current state. I could only hope that she’d never find a way to take my soul away… that though haunted me for years, and my nightmares were filled with her presence.

Anyway, when Crowley finally brought me home, I couldn’t care less about the bitch in Hell that wanted me dead. I asked Crowley about the three inches’ story, and even if he didn’t answer my question, I really didn’t need it. I just started having a lot of fun killing people whose contract was ended. I was as deadly and faithful as a Hellhound. I couldn’t blame demons when I heard that they had started calling me Crowley’s bitch.

It took me a while to feel human again; Crowley and I had some disputes. Once I was away from Hell, I was obsessed by the fact that he did something so awful to me, just because Lilith asked him to do it.

I could see that he was enjoying it, he didn’t try to lie about it. “That’s just the way it is, pet” he said, with a sly smile.

Maybe I was more upset by the fact that in the end, I started to enjoy it too… and he knew it.

That became a ritual, when we were both tired or when the day was particularly tough. He would tie me to the bed, and we would play our little game. He would bite my neck and leave marks on my breasts, my nails would leave red scratches on his back.

We would taste blood in each other’s mouths, his tongue would burn when it touched my bruises.

I would have my hands tied over the bed, as he would ride me. I let him have full access to my body, and he loved to give me orders while we were having sex. I had to beg when I needed to cum, and he wanted me to call him King as I did it.

A year had passed since my visit in Hell. It was the end of 1997 when I met Abbie. She was a teenager, and I could see myself in her.

We closed her deal, her parents’ car crashed and she inherited their fortune.

I would lie if I’d said that I never asked for Crowley to have a particular care for her father, in Hell, sometimes.

To this day, I still pay her a few visits. Her soul is still chained, and I like to take some time for her, from time to time. She’s going to make a wonderful demon, one day.

Years passed, my life was normal again. Crowley and I were working just fine, as partners and as whatever we were. Until, one day, I started to notice that something was a little off.

He would get nervous more often, disappear for days.

“Hell’s a bit loose, these days, love” was always the answer to my questions.

And then, one day, it was around 2006 – I believe – Crowley came home more nervous and more hysterical than usual. He stepped on Romeo’s tail and had to fight to have his jacket back.

I fixed him his usual drink, and when he was calm enough, he told me: “There’s something I need you to know” he was serious, and I started to get worried.

My instinct was right. “There’s a weapon, a revolver” he said. “It was made by Samuel Colt. The legend says the gun can kill _anything_.”

The way he said the last word felt heavy and hard to digest. “Well,” I said, trying to smile, ignoring the fact that he was pouring himself another drink. “Legends are called this way for a reason…”

“Azazel has it” he continued, emptying his glass. “The one good thing is that I hardly believe he – or Lilith – want to use it against you.”

The Prince of Hell never really bothered me. I knew about him and his brothers and sister but honestly, I never really cared.

Sitting on his armchair, Crowley seemed to be drowning in his own thoughts. He scratched his chin, sighed and looked up at me. “I need to think of something.”

“We don’t even know if this gun works…”

“And we don’t want to know…” he added. “Lilith is very busy at the moment, and so is Azazel. But the moment they have finished what they’re doing, she might want to try and get your little soul out of that” he said, and pointed at my body.

“So…” I walked my way to him and sat on his lap. I took his glass from his hands and took a sip of whiskey. It burned my throat, but I was used to it. I grinned and kissed him lightly on his lips, the smell of alcohol was strong, and it warmed my stomach. “We’d better find a way to get to that gun.”


	6. The Beginning of the End

When Crowley told me Azazel was dead, I was truly surprised. Not that I cared, of course, but a Prince of Hell killed by hunters was something new to me.

I wasn’t scared either – okay, maybe a bit… for a moment I imagined what my life would be without _my_ demon, and then I realised that maybe, just maybe, I had to do something about it. I was special, rare, I had to be able to protect my soul by myself. What if something happened to Crowley? He was the only one between me and Lilith.

I had no way to contact Death, only dying, and it wasn’t my time yet. So, I started doing my own research. The Gates of Hell had been opened, hundreds of demons were out. The hunters had the Colt – I asked Crowley to keep an eye on the gun, I still didn’t know what to do with it.

Soon, I found out demons didn’t like me. Being the shadow of a Crossroads demon was an elite job, apparently – the fact that I “wasn’t even a demon” bothered a lot of them.

I had to add pissed off demons to the list of my problems.

Shortly after that discovery, I started finding myself closer to witchcraft. I had a few witch friends, in the bar that I worked at; it was the only place I could go and feel actually safe. Crowley had insisted on having a few demons guarding his house, and now his own bodyguards looked at me – and my dog – with suspicious eyes.

He was grumpier than usual, we barley talked. I found out later that he didn’t like the fact that I took to witchcraft. He didn’t like witches, and when I asked him why, he simply replied that his mother was a witch, and that he never liked his mother.

I could relate to that, so I stopped asking questions about the matter and started doing everything by myself.

Within a few months, I could competently cast a protective spell, I knew how to craft a hex bag and how to do some simple rituals. It wasn’t much, my teachers weren’t the best, but it was enough to make me feel a little safer around demons.

I learned how to exorcise them and Crowley kindly sneaked a knife out of Hell, capable of killing demons. “For your own safety” he said, handing me the blade.

I still dreamed about the Colt, and I knew he wanted it, too. I could see it in his eyes, whenever I mentioned the weapon. I was obsessed with it, and so was he. We drifted apart, even if we were looking for the same thing.

I used to know what was going on in Hell, he used to talk to me. Now, all I knew was that Hell was a fucking mess, with demons running around and Lilith being a pain in the ass.

The bitch had gone mental, apparently. Crowley didn’t like it.

One day, after I performed at the club, I was removing my makeup in my dressing room when someone kicked the door open.

I had a demon’s trap painted in black above the doorframe, but it was useless against the young woman that I found myself facing.

It took me a few moments to recognise her, but when I did, I smiled.  That didn’t stop me holding the grips around my knife, though. “Abigail…” I greeted her, “what brings you here?”

She smiled in return, eyeing the knife and holding a gun in her hands. It was just a gun, she could do me no harm – but I still wanted to protect my body a little longer. “It’s Bela, now. Please…” the smirk on her face disappeared and she gestured toward the little sofa behind my makeup position. “Sit, we have to talk.”

“Well,” I said, looking to my right and fixing my eyes on Romeo – who was napping on the floor – “since you were smart enough to find me, I can give you five minutes of my time.”

I had to play really cool. She seemed confident enough to do something crazy. The situation was to my advantage. She had no idea I wasn’t a demon and she had no idea that a sleeping Hellhound was close enough to jump at her throat in less than three seconds. But I didn’t want her to believe she was in danger, I needed to know how she managed to know who I was and where I was working.

“So,” I sat on the sofa and placed the knife by my feet, “how did you find me?”

Bela took a few steps forward, still holding the gun and pointing it in my direction. She looked up and noticed the demon’s trap, I could see confusion flashing in her eyes for a mere second. “It wasn’t that hard, honestly” she replied, sitting next to me. “I work in the business, now. Once I started looking for you, I just had to ask the right questions.”

Rolling my eyes, I nodded in agreement. “How long has it been?”

“Nine years” she said, in a serious tone. “You tricked me…”

I sighed. “My dear, I’m a demon. What did you expect?”

“I know you’re not a demon” she said quickly. “But I know you work with one, the one I made a deal with. I say, you call him and tell him to change the contract, and I won’t kill you.”

A genuine laugh escaped from my mouth, and Romeo woke up. I tilted my head to one side and looked at her with an amused smile. “You really are a smart girl, aren’t you?” she was good, it was almost a pity she had to die in a year. She was going to be an excellent demon, one day.

Finding a stranger in his room, Romeo got up and walked by her. He sniffed her and her hair was blown away from her face. Bela winced and turned her head, they were facing each other now, but she couldn’t see him. Romeo growled and I saw fear in her eyes. She stood up and pointed the gun in his direction. “What the hell?”

“Hellhound, actually” I answered her question, crossing my legs and patting my boy on the back. “Nasty little thing… they can rip you apart in a heartbeat, their claws are said to be one of the worst way to die.”

Her eyes scanned the room, there weren’t any windows. The only way out was the door, but she couldn’t make it without being attacked by my dog. “I say…” a smile appeared on my lips, as I felt a sparkle of pure euphoria in my stomach. “Since you’re so good at finding things, you find something for me, and then I’ll talk with my boss about your contract. What do you think?”

When I got home, that night, I felt incredibly good. Crowley noticed my good mood and I took advantage of the situation, trying to fix our relationship.

I told him how Abigail – now Bela – found me and tried to get her soul back. He was impressed when I told him about our new deal. She was to find us the Colt.

Weeks passed and nothing happened; Bela and I talked sporadically on the phone, she updated me with every piece of information she could get.

Sam and Dean Winchester were the hunters who had the Colt, now.

Crowley seemed particularly interested; I found out later that as much as I wanted the Colt, he wanted information about the hunter brothers.

The day Bela brought us the Colt was a grey morning; it was cold, the sun had just risen.

Bela tried to get her contract back before handing us the gun; she said it couldn’t work without its own bullets and she procured those too. With the gun pointed at Crowley, I felt my heart sinking in my guts.

That gun could kill us both. Well, it could kill Crowley for sure, I didn’t know about me, but I didn’t want to risk my skin.

Of course, we knew this was going to happen, so we set a trap just before she arrived to the exchange point.

With my hands up, I looked at a point near her feet. “ _Crepitus_!” I yelled and reached down a hand inside my pocket. I threw some dust into the air and an explosion burst right under her feet. Bela was taken by surprise, she dropped the Colt and in a second it was in Crowley’s hand.

It took him a heartbeat to pop by my side and place his hand on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, we were home. The Colt was still in his hands and my phone was ringing.

Crowley took the call; he apologised to Bela with fake concern, he told her that he didn’t hold her contract and he said that Lilith had all of the contracts. He then proceeded to explain why it wasn’t a great idea to try and get the Colt back, since our place was protected by Enochian spells and fifty-or-so demons, and a Hellhound too.

Once the phone call ended, he sat in his favourite armchair and I fixed him a glass of his best scotch. Sitting in his lap, I gave him the glass and put my arms around his neck. “So…” I stole the drink from his hands and took a sip; the alcohol burned my throat. “what was that story about Lilith holding all the contracts?”

Crowley sighed. “I told you, she went bonkers.”

“Care to share a little more information?” I was never very interested in what was happening in Hell, but I was curious now. Crowley seemed worried about something and I knew that if he was worried he must have had a good reason.

He emptied the glass and started tracing a path on my back with his hand, absentminded. “When Azazel opened the Gates of Hell, he set Lilith free. Now, she wants to brake the 66 seals.”

I already disliked the fact that Lilith wasn’t in Hell anymore; I feared I knew where this was going. “And… what happens when she does?” my mouth was dry, the whiskey didn’t help.

Crowley was staring at the wall in front of him, his hand stopped and he inhaled sharply. “The Apocalypse.”

I didn’t reply. My mind was quite blank, actually.

The Apocalypse… nice.

“The… ten Plagues of Egypt Apocalypse?” I asked, just to be sure and when he nodded without adding anything, I shut my mouth for a long time.

I remember I had nothing in my mind. I was taken by surprise, I didn’t know what to do or say. I never expected such an answer. What I knew was that I didn’t like the way it sounded at all.

The Apocalypse couldn’t be a good thing… “But, how… why?”

I had never seen Crowley more serious than he was now. He lowered his hand from my back and placed it on my hip, tightening his grip and holding me a little closer to him. “In Hell there’s a Cage. Inside the Cage there’s Lucifer. He made Lilith, the First Demon and now she wants to set him free. Once he’s out, he’s going to use the Apocalypse to get rid of human kind, which he loathes.”

Following that thinking was the hardest thing I had to do in weeks. The name Lucifer sounded awfully bad to my ears. “Good thing we’re both non-human” I tried to laugh, but Crowley’s jaw tensed.

“Lucifer’s an Archangel, he hates man just as much as he hates demons. After he gets rid of men, we’re next on the list” he said, sinking in his armchair and I curled up against him.

I couldn’t help but smile to myself. “Good thing _I_ am not a demon, then.”

He eyed the gun resting on a table. “The Colt might kill Lucifer…” his voice was low, as if he was scared someone could hear him.

I closed my eyes, I didn’t like it. I never wanted my life to be dangerous, all I wanted was peace. Lucifer? The Apocalypse? Those were dangerous things. “You seriously want to try and stop the Apocalypse? It’s nuts. You’re going to end up dead, and you’re going to get me killed in the process.”

“I’m going to work something out” he sounded sure, but I knew he wasn’t. I tried to convince him to talk to Lilith, try and explain why the Apocalypse was such a bad idea.

Obviously that bitch didn’t want to listen; all she was interested in was setting Lucifer free.

Working in the club was my favourite activity, the house seemed dangerous with or without Crowley. I feared one day Lilith would just show up and kill us all. She didn’t know about the Colt, I think, but she knew Crowley didn’t fully agree with her plan.

I remember the day the first seal was broken.

Crowley came back home screaming bloody murder. He started throwing stuff in his office, yelling at everybody and scaring the shit out of my dog.

So, it started… the not so long way to the Apocalypse. And there I was, thinking about the end of the world and how it was the worst thing that could happen.

Sweet summer child. I had no idea that after the Apocalypse so many dreadful things would have happened to me.

My life after the Apocalypse would have changed drastically. If I knew then what I know now, I would have probably packed my stuff and left without a trace.

But I didn’t and that was just the beginning of how my life became what it is now.


	7. Apocalypse Now

For months, my life was a disaster; Crowley was stressed, angrier than usual. He was checking on the Winchesters, trying to figure out what to do with them. They were trying to stop Lilith and the Apocalypse, but they were failing miserably.

Now, Angels had entered the picture, and Crowley was even more pissed off.

I started wondering about life in general, and my own existence. Having the Colt was a constant reminder of my own vulnerability, and at the same time I was curious to know if the gun could in fact kill me or not.

I wanted to try and find another Wonderer and test it, but Crowley was way too much preoccupied with his business to think about my problems.

We couldn’t do much, Hell was a mess as usual. Demons were free, and now the Apocalypse was just one step closer.

One night, Crowley came home shivering. “Lilith is dead” he announced, and I couldn’t understand why he had such a long face.

I was more than happy. I was free… ding dong the bitch was dead. Right? Ah, once again, nope.

My hopes were shuttered when Crowley told me she was the last seal, and now Lucifer was free.

I remember running to the window and looking up at the sky, I expected to see locusts coming from a cloud or something like that.

Nothing happened, I was confused.

Crowley told me to stay calm and keep a low profile. He would try and think of something. As he always did. I trusted him…

We kept doing what we were good at: selling souls, making deals. The Apocalypse had started, but nothing seemed to change. The only thing that was different was that now, for whatever reason, I couldn’t see Romeo anymore and I had to be careful not to step on his tail.

Until, one day, I had a nightmare. I woke up soaking with sweat, when I turned on the light, Crowley was staring at me in a corner of the room. “What happened?” he asked.

“I… I had a dream, about War” my voice was weak. “I think he’s dead. The Winchesters killed him.”

“They’re trying to stop the Apocalypse… killing the Horsemen doesn’t seem a bad idea” he said.

I bolted out of the bed, so fast even Crowley was surprised. “They can’t!” I could feel my own heart beating furiously in my chest. “They can’t.”

It took Crowley a few seconds to realise why I was so shocked. He clicked his tongue and reached out for me, forcing me to sit on the bed. “Look,” he said, going to the bedside table and pouring me some water. “I understand you consider the men family, but…”

“But what?” I would have loved something stronger than water. “Death created me, he’s the closest thing to a father I can get! I won’t let them kill him, or any other of the Horsemen. I have to warn him.”

The decision was made. I got up and walked to the window, I opened it and leaned forward. Before I could jump, Crowley’s hand was pulling me back into his arms. “Don’t be an idiot, Pam” he said, and I struggled to get free from his grip. “You can’t cause your own death just because you want to talk to Death…”

There was no other way.

“Watch me” I slapped away his hands and headed for the window again. This time he didn’t stop me, and I jumped.

The wind was strong and I was scared for a couple of seconds; then I hit the ground and I shut down.

The world in black and white was empty. Everything was blurred and I couldn’t see much. Finding a body was easy, but I had to try and not chose one before I could talk to Death.

A reaper showed up, instead. She told me Death was busy, I asked her gently to call him and when she didn’t I asked her not so gently.

Death knew about War, and he knew about the Winchesters. He didn’t seem surprised at all. He told me I was free now. Lilith had died and she was the one holding my contract, so technically, my soul wasn’t attached to Crowley anymore.

We walked together and we talked a lot, we ate lunch together, then he helped me find an empty shell – a young girl, in England – and then Death left, leaving me alone.

I had no idea what to do, now. I was free, and because of my impulsive act, I had absolutely nowhere to go. I could try and call Crowley, but I didn’t.

I soon found out that I didn’t have a life anymore. My life was with Crowley and now I was alone. I started wondering around, making money gambling and selling my hex bags. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.

One day, I met an angel. His name was Balthazar and we had a lot of things in common. He caught me while I was trying to sell something, I thought he was a demon, but then he touched me and my soul almost lit up like a Christmas tree – that had only happened once before, when Naomi touched me, so I guessed he was angel. He asked me what I was and I told him. We started sharing futile information, like our favourite movie, and our least favourite movie – we agreed on “Titanic” – and then he told me that he was collecting weapons. I guessed that, given the circumstances, it wasn’t a bad idea.

I had a dream about Famine, and I knew he was dead too. I said to Balthazar about my dream, and I told him about the Horsemen. In return, he told me that the angels wanted to use the Apocalypse to wipe out humanity, and Lucifer, to start a new Heaven on Earth. And where was my place? Heaven wasn’t for me… neither was Hell… in their new picture, I wasn’t allowed.

Balthazar agreed with me, he gave me an angel blade and told me to go back home.

So, a few weeks later, I flew to America. I wanted to apologise to Crowley and see if he would take me back with him, but when I arrived home… I found out there was no home anymore.

The house was destroyed… it looked like someone had attack it.

Was Crowley dead? Was Romeo dead?

I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to call him, but I couldn’t reach his phone.

I started to panic, I was lost. But the world was ending, right? So, I didn’t have to worry for much longer.

I knew the Winchesters were trying to kill Pestilence and Death; I didn’t know where to find them, but I hoped they didn’t. I hoped there would find another way, but deep down I knew there wasn’t another way.

It was night, I was sleeping in a crappy motel. It was cold outside, it had rained until that very moment. I had a dream about Crowley and I woke up with tears in my eyes.

I heard his voice and I thought I was hallucinating, but then I realised it wasn’t my imagination. He was really there, he had found me.

When I asked him what happened, he told me that the Colt didn’t kill Lucifer. He was now Hell’s most wanted and that he was helping the Winchesters to get to the Horsemen to stop the Apocalypse.

I knew that the Apocalypse was bad. I knew that it had to be stopped, but I couldn’t let them kill Death. He was my friend, my family. He had created me, I couldn’t help them find him.

“Come on, love” Crowley tried to convince me, “after all we’ve been through together!”

I had to find another way, but in the meantime, I couldn’t just watch as the world was ending. “There’s a demon… Death told me they use him as stable boy. He might know where Pestilence is.”

Crowley thanked me with a kiss; I asked him what was he going to do and he told me that he was going to tell the Winchesters.

I felt like a traitor. I didn’t want to help, so I just asked him where was Romeo and Crowley told me that he was in Hell, doing his job again – and that included chasing him. He told me that it wasn’t safe for me to be close to him, so I had to stay (again) in a cheap motel, while he was having fun with the Winchesters.

Hours later he came to me with a pair of glasses, when I put them on I saw a gigantic puppy by his feet. “He’s Growley,” he announced, “and with those, you can see him whenever you want.”

If a new puppy was his way to apologise, it worked just fine. Yes, I still wanted my dog back, but a new one could only bring more love into our dysfunctional family. He told me that thanks to my help, they knew where Pestilence was and now all they had to do was find Death. I knew, deep down, that it was the right thing to do, because saving the world was the only way we could survive.

When he asked me if I wanted to go with him to close a new, important deal, I accepted. I thought it was the best way to bring things back to normality. Little did I know that normality was gone forever.

Crowley introduced me to Bobby Singer, the man didn’t seem to like me very much. I adjusted the glasses on my nose and offered him my hand, but he didn’t accept it.

He wasn’t very nice, but he seemed a cool guy. I was more than happy to take a picture of him and Crowley closing the deal.

I didn’t want to see Death’s ending, so I stayed at the motel when Crowley left for Chicago with Dean Winchester. That night Death came to me and he wasn’t wearing his ring anymore. He wasn’t mad at me, he wanted the Winchesters to stop the Apocalypse, too.

I was so relieved he wasn’t dead that I hugged him – and for a moment I believed he would have killed me, but he just asked me if I was hungry, and offered me to buy me dinner.

Surviving the Apocalypse was easier than I thought. All it took was staying awake and wait for it to happen. Crowley was so satisfied when Lucifer had died, we finally got to celebrate. We even got a new house, I was so done with cheap motels.

A few weeks later, he was doing some work for Hell – without a ruler everything was messier than usual. He told me something about Ramiel, another Prince of Hell and how Hell wanted him to be the new King.

He had to bring some presents and he decided that the Colt was one of them. I wasn’t very happy with this decision; handing the only thing that could kill me to someone I barely knew only by fame… but Crowley wanted to get rid of it, and he told me that giving it to Ramiel was the only logical thing to do. He would kept it safe.

He had a weird expression on his face when he got home. He poured himself a generous amount of whiskey and gave me another glass.

“What are we celebrating this time?” I joked, taking a little sip.

Crowley’s eyes were fix on the wall behind my shoulders. He emptied his glass with a fluid motion, in one gulp and grimaced. I’d never seen him wince at the taste of whiskey, and after a few seconds I realised it wasn’t a wince, but a smirk. “I’m the new King.”

The words had absolutely no meaning to me. “Say what?”

Taking the glass from my hands and placing it with his own on the table, he shrugged and a little laugh left his lips as he offered me his arm.

Confusion was written all over my face, but I accepted his arm and we immediately zapped somewhere else.

We were in Paris, and I was wearing a sparkling golden dress. “Is this a joke?” he shook his head no, and ordered two flutes of champagne. Mixing champagne and whiskey didn’t seem the best idea, but fuck it. “You’re King?”

“Yep.”

“Does this mean I’m-“

“Queen? Yes” he said, then quickly added: “If you want.”

I didn’t even let him finish asking. I couldn’t believe my eyes, my ears, my everything. “Fuck, yes.”


	8. La Petite Mort

The following years had been very busy for me. Crowley and I drifted apart, because we had different interests and duties.

Being Queen of Hell meant a lot more paperwork than I had imagined. Literally, all I did was reading and checking contracts.

Politics wasn’t really my thing, but I ended up enjoying all the trials and the convictions. I had to learn about demonic jurisdiction, how some demons were more important than others. There were the Princes of Hell – Azazel, who was now dead, Ramiel who didn’t want the throne, and then there were Dagon and Asmodeus who weren’t really interested in Hell anyways. The Knigts of Hell had all been killed by Cain, who was now retired, somewhere.

Then there were the Ranks, the lower the number, the higher the importance. And then my favourite, the Crossroads. I couldn’t help but like them a little bit more.

Demons didn’t like me at first, I wasn’t one of them. A demon even tried to possess me, and I found out that I was able to exorcise myself… no one tried to do it after that.

Once they started to accept me as their ruler, they discovered my soft side. I was more appreciative than Crowley, I liked their ideas, I listened to them.

Walking down the corridors of Hell with two Hellhounds by my side was pretty powerful. Growley and Romeo were my shadows, my bodyguards. Two horse-sized red-eyed dogs, ready to rip apart anything I wanted.

I took the kennel matters to heart, Hellhounds were treated quite badly. They weren’t the sweetest creatures, but they were still important. I had learned all their names, and put in new guards to take care of them.

There was one, Ramsey – she was Lucifer’s pet – that was always in a bad mood. For a while, I even thought about moving her from the kennel to her own box, next to Lucifer’s cage, but Crowley told me it was the worst idea I’d had in years, so she stayed with the others.

Obviously, it wasn’t just duties and meetings. After the Apocalypse, I renewed my ties with an old angel friend, Balthazar. He was in the US too, living in a beautiful mansion, surrounded by deadly weapons and having fun throwing parties and orgies. I was more than happy to just be a guest.

I was practically swimming in his king-sized bed, rolling in red, silky sheets, when my phone rang. It took me a few seconds to understand that it was my phone, and to fully regain consciousness after my third – fourth? – orgasm. There was four of us, the angel and I and a couple of vampires.

Grunting in frustration, I sat on the bed and started looking for my phone. When the phone call ended, I got a message.

It was Crowley, and the words that flashed before my eyes drew a frown on my face.

GO TO HELL, NOW.

“Metaphorically or literally speaking?” I heard Balthazar’s voice and I turned to him; he was spying my phone over my shoulder.

I sighed, slipping out the bed. “Literally, I guess” I kissed both the female and the male vampire goodbye, gathered my clothes and waited for my angel to walk me to the front door.

“Until next Tuesday, love” he leaned towards me for one last kiss.

“Don’t have too much fun without me,” I smiled against his lips, deepening the kiss and biting his lower lip, gaining a satisfied sound.

The chilly air of the night hugged me, as I walked towards the black car parked in Balthazar’s yard. The driver door opened and a man in a black suit left the seat, he opened the backseat door and waited until I was inside.

When the driver started the car, I rested my head against the window and closed my eyes. “Let’s go home, Sebastian.”

Crowley was nervously pacing the throne room with big steps. On the throne, there was a closed suitcase. “What’s inside?” I asked, taking my coat off.

“Finally!” his voice sounded annoyed, frustrated.

“Sorry…” I whined, rolling my eyes. “Not everyone can teleport from A to B.”

For a moment I thought we were alone, but then I heard what I believed to be the sound like flap of wings. “Hello, Castiel” I smiled, without turning my back to Crowley. The angel walked through me and reached the suitcase on the throne.

He didn’t even look at me. Castiel opened the suitcase, looked inside and closed it. “I can take care of this.”

“Excuse me?” I waved my hand. “I left an incredible satisfying vampire orgy to be here, can I _at least_ be informed of what’s going on?”

Crowley and his new best friend Castiel were plotting so much, lately. Heaven was badly fucked up, according to Balthazar, and Crowley seemed to be involved.

“The Winchesters threatened me” Crowley’s voice got higher when he pronounced the Apocalypse-boys’ name. “These are my remains.”

A slightly disgusted “ _Ewh_ ” inadvertently left my mouth.

“I had to give Bobby Singer’s soul back.”

I frowned, looking towards him and putting my hands on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. “I’m sorry, darling.”

“They used my son against me!” I couldn’t understand if he was pissed about the fact that they used his son, or the fact that they had successfully managed to almost cause him harm. “They summoned his ghost…”

“Unbelievable…” I nodded, giving him a small shoulder massage, patting him on the back, then I turned to Castiel. “You’re his angel, do something to cheer him up.”

“I’m not his angel” he answered me abruptly and I smiled coyly. “I’m going to put these somewhere safe” he said, and then flew away.

“You should be thankful” I said, when the angel was gone.

“Thankful?” Crowley roared at me and I covered my ears, annoyed. I didn’t like it when he yelled at me. “Thankful for what, exactly?” he said, in the same rude voice.

“Thankful for the fact that the Winchesters still have no idea that you’re behind their lovely grandpa and Sammy’s return and that you – kinda intentionally – left an important piece behind.”

Sam Winchester’s soul was still in Lucifer’s cage. Crowley sighed and composed himself, fixing his jacked. “I guess you’re right” he told me, sitting on his throne.

I walked towards him and sat on his lap, playing with the collar of his shirt. “Of course I am.”

For a while, everything went as planned. Crowley faked his death and the Winchesters thought they had the upper hand.

In Hell, I was dressed like a rich widow. With a silky and furry resting gown by Catherine D’lish; a crowd of demons were reunited in the throne room, the lights were dim. The Hellhounds were resting on the floor, napping quietly. When Crowley arrived, they woke up and greeted him with happy whines and wiggling tails. “What’s going on?” he asked, suspiciously moving his eyes from me to the crowd of demons and back to me.

I opened my arms, dramatically. “It’s your funeral, darling” I said, and the demons started murmuring behind me. I might have kept the ‘fake’ part just for me.

Crowley frowned, he walked to the throne where a single red carnation was placed. He took it, smelled it, and looked back at me. “You need a hobby, pet” he then proceeded to sit on his throne and yelled to the demons. “Come on, now. I’m not dead, go back to work!”

Despite the fun, he was right: I did need a hobby. Ruling Hell while Crowley was away with Castiel was hard, but I managed.

I sneaked out now and then, to meet Balthazar, but other than that, I didn’t have much else to do. After a while, giving orders to demons started to bore me. So, one day, after our usual rendezvous, Balthazar asked me if I wanted to do something with him.

Thrilled, I accepted immediately, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, as he spread his beautiful wings and there we were, in 1912, on board of the Titanic.

I hugged myself as a gust of wind messed up my hair. “Let’s get this party started” I happily sighed, rubbing my hands and smirking in triumph to Balthazar. “Woah… you look good in a uniform.”

“Thank you, love. You don’t look bad yourself” he smirked and I looked down.

I was wearing a long dress with a heavy blue diamond neckless. I took it off and threw it overboard. “Fuck off, Rose.”

I woke up the next morning, in Balthazar’s bed – along with two other girls and a boy – with a throbbing headache and no memory of what I’d done in the past 24 hours.

In the meantime, Crowley had to deal with Castiel. The things weren’t going so good, according to him, but I didn’t want to interfere in their relationship.

Even if I didn’t want to have anything to do with Crowley or Castiel’s plans about Purgatory, I found myself in trouble when Castiel found me in Balthazar’s house.

He was stranger than usual, actually, I was a little scared. My fear came to be true when, out of the blue, Castiel stabbed Balthazar to death. White light filled the room, I thought I was blind for a moment.

Unable to articulate any word, confused, I ran away. In Hell, I waited silently in my bedroom, when Crowley came, he was scared.

I jumped onto my feet when I saw him and ran towards him. “I’m so glad you’re alive!” I sighed, but he didn’t care. He started gathering his things around, like a maniac. “Castiel killed Balthazar, I thought he’d killed you too.”

“He will,” Crowley said, closing a suitcase and grabbing me by the wrist. In a blink, we were out, in the middle of a desert road, under the light of a spotlight. “He tricked me, he has all the souls in Purgatory, now. I believe he is the new God, and I don’t think he likes us very much.”

“You are right, for once” Castiel’s voice came from behind us and we turned around simultaneously, as he stepped out of the darkness, under the light. He seemed different, but I didn’t know what it was – perhaps something in his eyes.

“You’re the new God?” I asked, confused. I still hadn’t recovered from Balthazar’s death. It was so sudden and unexpected, I didn’t even have the chance to react.

He didn’t reply; his eyes darkened as he lifted his arm. Crowley tried to reach his hand to my shoulder, but Castiel was faster. He snapped his fingers and I felt hot, boiling. “Your soul will fix this vessel.”

I had no idea what he meant, but there was a bright blue light and my chest started to burn. I thought I was on fire for a second, I screamed, and then everything went white.

I expected to see the world in black and white, but that didn’t happen. Everything was quiet and light, I had no idea where I was, or how long I stayed there. Then I heard a voice, and I followed it, even if I didn’t know if I was actually going somewhere.

I blinked twice and I saw a man staring at me, concerned. “Are you okay?” he asked.

Was I dead? For real? I looked around myself and noticed I was lying on a sofa, in what looked like a loft. The sun was in the sky, outside the window. “Where am I?” I asked in return.

“Los Angeles… I found you passed out on a street, I was about to call an ambulance.”

“No hospitals,” I said, feeling nauseous. I didn’t remember much about what happened before, then Castiel’s face flashed before my eyes and my head hurt. The room spun around me, and I passed out again.

The following days I was sick. Recovery had never been so awful. It sucked…

My new body was cute. I didn’t remember how I got it, but it was okay. It fit just perfectly, I couldn’t complain. I must have found it after Godstiel killed me.

Maybe he really thought I was gone for good. I had the upper hand, now. But did I want to go back?

The guy who found me took care of me. He seemed a nice person; he was a writer and a musician. His name was Chuck, but I’ll leave the best for later.

It took me a couple of weeks to feel better again, weird things happened during my stay. Once I was okay, Chuck asked me if I wanted to stay a little longer. I was worried about Crowley, but I didn’t know how to contact him, so I said yes.

Chuck and I dated for a few more weeks, then I decided it was time to go. “It’s not you… I’m sorry” I told him, after telling him I was going away. “I kinda have another boyfriend…”

He seemed okay with it – it wasn’t something important, he was extremely chill about the situation. He even lent me his car, which I never returned, to drive back to the last place I remember I’d been.

I couldn’t leave Crowley alone against Castiel, I hoped he was alive. The image of Balthazar dying filled my head, what if Crowley was dead? I would have beat the shit out of Castiel, I would have kick his ass from Heaven to Hell.


	9. Meet the parents

Crowley was alive, and he made a deal with Castiel; was I happy? No. Did I say something? No.

I was just glad that he was still in one piece, and while I told him about my little vacation in Los Angeles, he told me about how he’d hid until Castiel found him and didn’t kill him.

He was scared that I’d died for good. Apparently Castiel tried to absorb my soul; there was something wrong with his vessel, and my unusually powerful essence might have fixed it. Lucky me, his plan didn’t work. It did feel strange when I was sucked out of my body, but I ended up in a new one and everything went back to normal.

Something new was threatening the world: Leviathans. Obnoxious creatures that lived in Purgatory and were set free when Castiel opened the doors.

I honestly didn’t care about them; the only thing I cared about was the fact that now, Crowley and I, were together once again and there was no Apocalypse that could have ruined my stay on Earth.

Dick Roman, the leader of the Leviathans, was – in fact – a dick. He was an asshole. Crowley tried many times to win his trust, but the monster wasn’t easy prey.

Trying to pretend everything was normal, I started doing my job again. Checking contracts, writing lists, listening to demons’ problems, feeding the Hellhounds – usual Hell business.

One day I found out something weird was happening, one of our demons was having an unusual number of souls. I did my research, because I didn’t want to bother Crowley until I was sure, then I had to call him on the phone.

“It’s Guy,” I said, looking at the contracts. “He’s gaining souls, but the dates aren’t correct. It should take ten years, it’s taking weeks…”

“Where’s the bastard?” Crowley asked, annoyed.

I checked on the paper, looking for the whereabouts. “Las Vegas.”

“I’m on it.”

Weeks passed without any problem. It was actually really nice – I had someone to fix the heating and now, it worked perfectly. Hell wasn’t humid anymore.

While thinking about the perfect deal to offer to Roman, Crowley spent a little time with me. Most of the time it was just me and the dogs. We had divided our jobs, he took care of the Leviathans, I looked after the souls.

I knew something wasn’t right when he didn’t come home, one night.

I looked for him everywhere – in the end, he showed up late, and he wasn’t alone. He was with Meg, a demon and Kevin, a boy.

“The Winchesters aren’t a problem anymore” he said. “Dean’s in Purgatory with Castiel, Sam’s… well, he’s still around but I don’t think he will bother us for a while.”

He said something about a Tablet, and how the boy could read it, but one day Kevin ran away and of course the Winchesters had to come back full force. Crowley was so pissed, I had to keep my distance.

“They want to close the gates of Hell!” he roared, throwing a rock at me – that bloody Tablet, again. “Do you know what it will imply?”

“I don’t” I said, trying to sound calm. I never liked him when he was mad.

“Bad things” his sarcasm was frustrating. “Including the fact that you won’t be able to be in Hell, with your physical form, darling.”

 _That_ was a problem. And now that the situation involved me too, I decided I wanted to help.

But Crowley was still pissed off, and the first thing he asked me to do, was to dye Meg’s hair blonde. At this point, I was pretty sure he didn’t want me to help; as that would mean I'd be around. So I just kept ruling Hell, while he was having fun with the damn Tablets, the Prophets, and all the rest.

Things were doing great for me. Crowley was doing his business and I was doing mine. I just had the feeling that something would have gone wrong, sooner or later, because the Winchesters had always been a pain in the ass.

I was right, and they killed my dog. I didn’t know how or why, Crowley wouldn’t tell me. All I knew was that now I only had Romeo by my side.

I didn’t want to talk to Crowley anymore. It was his fault that Growley had died…

Then, one day, out of the blue, this redhead came in Hell and kidnapped me – chaining me to a cross, she started to torture me.

I have very few memories of that time. I was confused, I had no idea who she was or what she wanted. Later on, I found out she was Abaddon, Knight of Hell, back from the dead and claming the throne.

Days, weeks, months – maybe years – passed. My torture was constant, they didn’t let me die. She kept asking me for information about Crowley, but I could handle torture and never spilled one word. One day, Abaddon showed up again. “The King wants your head,” she laughed at the word ‘King’ and then she raised a blade, I closed my eyes and caught my breath.

Death, finally. I was free.

Swimming away from Hell, swirling with my sparkling white trail, I started travelling through the black and white world.

I had no idea what was happening, but as usual, my creator was there to help me.

Apparently, Abaddon had kept me because she thought I might have some value. She tried to use me as a leverage to get to Crowley, but when he showed no interest in keeping me alive, she served him my head on a silver plate.

This time, Death walked with me until we were in an abandoned storage shed. Crowley was waiting there, with a body next to him. I picked it, and fixed it. it was comfortable enough – much better than the one ruined by Abbadon’s tortures. “Thanks” was the first thing I said, “I couldn’t take it anymore…”

I hugged him and kissed him. I apologised because of what I said and because we had drifted apart before everything happened. Crowley told me that he needed to win Hell back, and I couldn’t agree more.

He gave me a pair of glasses and I was so happy to see my Romeo again that I almost didn’t notice the other Hellhound. It was about half the size of Romeo, but it was still as big as a large Doberman. “She’s Juliette,” Crowley explained, patting the dog on the head. “She’s my new pet.”

When I started to hope that things were going to be okay, Crowley became sick. Something to do with human’s blood and I tried to talk him out of it, but the more he had the more he needed.

His new friend, Lola, was a whore. I never complained about his choices, but I could see from a mile that she was a traitor. “She works for Abbadon,” I told him, in a hotel room filled with empty pizza boxes.

“No, she doesn’t!” he replied, turning the TV on. “She calls me King.”

I sighed, falling back into the back of the sofa. There was an agonising man on the floor, he was as pale as a ghost, I wasn’t entirely sure he was still alive. “I’m telling you. I _saw_ her, she was one of the demons that used to torture me… she works for Abbadon!”

“No! She doesn’t! She likes me!” he repeated, trying to reach for the bottle of whiskey I had in my hand. I scooped it away and took a long sip, making sure he couldn’t have it.

“Just-“ I sighed with frustration, “don’t tell her anything important.”

I left, because I couldn’t see him like this. When he sent me a picture of her dead body, I couldn’t help but smile.

I couldn’t hold a grudge with him. He told me that now, Dean Winchester was in his hands, that he had a plan. His plan didn’t go very well, when he was captured by Abbadon and she threatened to kill his son – that she had kidnapped from the past, apparently.

I ended up talking to the boy, sharing information and giving him my phone number, if he ever needed any help. Deep down, Crowley loved him and I couldn’t be sure, but I think the feeling was mutual.

Abbadon was dead now, and Dean Winchester was a demon.

Needless to say, I was more than happy to see the oldest Winchester in his new form. We had quite a lot of fun, honestly. The man was a blast.

Merciless murders and a lot of sex; my life was complete again. I couldn’t ask for more, but – of course – it couldn’t last long.

Dean was uncontrollable, he was a force of nature. Crowley was in danger; the man didn’t want to help him in regaining Hell. I could tell he missed him, but it was for the best.

Now, we needed to fix Hell. We had to take control again, and we needed souls. God, we had lost so many since the war with Abbadon.

I tried to help the best way I could, finding souls had always been my job, after all. Crowley put me on an important job. I had to find Lucifer’s old vessel and fix it. It took time and effort, but I did it.

The body was a mess. Crowley wanted me to modify it, in order to let it be a new cage and a trap. When I asked him why, he told me that he had a great plan in mind. The cage wasn’t the safest place where to keep him, and another safer container had to be made.

We moved from Hell to another secret location. We were a team of close, trusted demons. We weren’t a lot, but we were good, the best.

Meanwhile, Crowley found out that some demons were more desperate than others to gain new souls; Crowley’d found Gerard and Raul had put up a brothel, exchanging souls for sexual favours.

It was a little too much…

But Raul was dead now, killed by a powerful witch. I hadn’t seen a witch in years. When Gerald finally caught her, Crowley went to see her and he forbid me to go.

“Why?” I asked, whining. “I want to see the witch!”

“You can’t” he replied, he was shivering. It was odd.

“Are you okay?”

“She’s my mother…” he confessed, sitting on his throne.

I didn’t know what to say. “But… I though your mother was dead.”

“To be honest, darling, me too” I could hear his brain working, trying to figure out what to do. “Maybe you can help me.”

Crowley’s mother was a beautiful redhead woman. She was held hostage in a prison cell; when she saw me, she held her chin up, and stayed quiet.

I tried to smile. “Hello, I’m Pam. Your daughter-in-law.” It sounded so weird to say that aloud, but I didn’t know how else to introduce myself.

Her face changed, from fierce and sober, she smiled back. “So, my son settled down, uh? A nice job, a beautiful woman, what else could a mother want?” It took me a while to fully understand what she said, her Scottish accent was so thick a few words made no sense to me. The fact that she was beaten up and chained to a wall didn’t seem to bother her at all.

We talked for a while; Crowley wanted me to find out what she was up to, but she didn’t say much – not about her, anyways. She told me an awful number of things about Crowley – or Fergus, as she always called him – names weren’t important to me. Pam wasn’t my real name but Crowley called me that. We knew each other names, but we didn’t use them – names were just names.

When Crowley decided to set her free, I didn’t agree. She was smart, witty and resourceful – it was obvious. I was sceptical and I tried to talk some sense into him, but she was his mother and I could see from a mile that he still cared about her and trusted her.

She was good, I never managed to catch her red-handed; I tried to set a few demons on her, and she skilfully killed them, putting the blame on poor Gerard. He was a loyal demon, but Rowena convinced Crowley otherwise.

One day, I was walking down a corridor – on my way to the secret location where we kept Lucifer’s body, when she stopped me. “Going somewhere, dearie?”

“I have an appointment with my hairdresser,” I simply said, smiling friendly.

“’m afraid you’ll be late for it” she closed the distance between us and stabbed me in the stomach.

I panicked, and looked down at my mortal wound. I recognised Gerald’s blade before everything went dark.


	10. Holy fuck!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the Winchesters are here!

“Bloody bitch!” I heard my voice saying as I inhaled my first breath in the new body. I sat up, from a very cold table and tried to focus a little.

“What the fuck?” A familiar voice said, and I turned my head to see two men holding guns at me. They were dressed as FBI agents, it took me a while to recognise Dean as one of them. The taller one must have been Sam.

I smiled. “Hey, Dean! Long-time no see!”

Dean’s confusion and the fact that they were both still pointing guns at me, told me that something was wrong.

“Dean,” Sam said,” do you know the vic?”

“I… no”

“Vic?” I asked, more confused than they were. I looked down and acknowledged the fact that I was naked, half covered by a white sheet, and the cold table I was sitting on, was in fact an autopsy table.

“Oh!” I sighed, standing up and using the sheet as a towel. “It’s me, Pam. Brand new shell” I smiled again, this time Dean relaxed his face muscles and lowered the gun.

He put a hand on his brother’s shoulder and Sam lowered his gun too. “She’s okay” Dean said, “She’s Crowley’s… she’s his…”

“Queen” I helped him define my peculiar relationship with the King of Hell, and I offered my hand to Sam. A little sceptical, the young Winchester accepted my hand and shook it. “You must be Sam. It was about time! I’ve heard so many things about you!”

“So…” he said, looking a little lost. “You’re a demon?”

I shook my head. “Nope, I’m a soul. I don’t possess bodies, I just find an empty one and take it when my old body is useless” then, I looked around. We were alone in a morgue. “Was this one a case of yours?”

Dean nodded. “Probably werewolves.”

“Heart carved out of the body with teeth and claws…” Sam added.

I looked under the white sheet; my chest was okay and the autopsy scars were fading slowly. “It’s all good now” I smiled. “Would you guys be so kind and help me walk out of here? And find me some clothes, maybe?”

Half an hour later, the boys and I were having breakfast in a small bar. We were in a town in Iowa, I was wearing the victim’s jeans and one of Dean’s shirts. I was a little afraid someone might have recognised me but I was already planning on leaving town as soon as possible.

“How did you guys meet?” Sam’s question came out of the blue, as I was taking a big bite from my pancake.

My eyes met Dean’s and I saw he froze too. “Erm…” I tried to think about something, I had no idea what Dean had told him about the whole situation. “We… met…”

“She tagged along when I was… you know” and he gestured his arm.

“Oh… okay” Sam hid his face in his big mug of coffee and didn’t ask any more questions.

When breakfast was over, they drove me to the bus station and I jumped on the first one, the destination didn’t matter, as I would have asked Crowley to pick me up and bring me to the secret place, to continue working on Lucifer’s body.

I hoped Rowena wasn’t controlling his phone too, because I asked Dean to send him a text with my new whereabouts, before leaving.

The fact that his mother believed I was dead was a little refreshing. Now, I could do my job without interruptions and without having to worry about other stuff.

Hopefully Crowley was still smart enough to use his own brain, and not falling for his mother’s plan – whatever it was.

I decided that, in that moment, what I was doing was more important than everything else. One day Crowley would come back to his senses and he would have wanted the Lucifer project functional and completed.

That day, I would have been ready.

I wasn’t exactly finished – some runes had still to be translated yet – but the team was at a good point, when he showed up and ordered everybody to leave.

He was changed, he seemed to be in a very good mood. It had been years since I saw the look he had in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, pet” he said, walking towards me and taking my working glasses off. “I’ve neglected my duties as a partner, lately. I can almost say I forgot who I was” his eyes flashed red and I knew something had happened, but I couldn’t say what.

Even if I knew exactly what kind of person he was and how things worked in his mind, I was still very surprised when he used his demonic power to push me against a wall.

Lucifer’s body was lying on a table, opened and with our working tools still inside him. Crowley snapped his fingers and everything was on the floor now.

“Hey! It’s delicate stuff!” I complained, but he shut me up with a rough kiss.

I was still pinned up against the wall, his hands on my body and I could feel the energy his vessel was irradiating.

“What’s gotten into you?” I laughed, against his lips. Not that I minded, but I was curious to know if something had happened.

Crowley looked into my eyes, his eyes were still glowing red. I missed his demonic essence inside my body, just as much as I missed having him inside me.

Few days passed since his visit; the world seen form the bunker was different. We had no windows, no clocks, it was as if we were in limbo. Working day and night, making spells and writing curses. The hardest part was to carve the spells into Lucifer’s body, so that the vessel could be the perfect trap for him.

One night I dreamt about Death; I knew he was gone. I couldn’t understand why, but I knew it was Dean’s fault. The Winchesters killed my family and all I wanted was at least some small revenge. I almost started to think about something, when I got distracted by a message.

It wasn’t Crowley’s phone number, but he had signed the text with his name and he told me to come immediately to the address he wrote in the text.

I got there as fast as I could, worried that something had happened… and I found him in a woman’s body, in the company of another couple and the husband of the woman he was possessing. Apparently, he had to change meatsuit quickly, and I was invited to another orgy. He knew how to make me happy.

I helped him slaughter the others once we were done, so that he could call his demons. I watched as he got out of the shower and wore one of the woman’s nightgowns, it hugged the body in all the right places. “I have to say,” I giggled, rolling in the bed, covered in blood, “this new meatsuit of yours, is quite beautiful.”

“Don’t get used to it, love” Crowley smirked at me and sat beside me, I crawled onto him and kissed him deeply, gaining a satisfied moan. “You should go, my demons will be here soon. I need you to do something for me.”

I broke the kiss but I stayed there, my lips were still touching his. “What does my King need?” I whispered, seductively.

His pupils dilatated, and I saw frustration in his eyes as he knew we didn’t have time. “You have to arrange a meeting in Hell.”

“Just promise me something.”

He smiled slyly. “What does my Queen need?”

“Promise me we’re doing this again.”

Crowley kissed me again, and before the kiss was over, I was sent back into Hell.

During the meeting, Crowley explained that a powerful force had escaped: The Darkness. It was already strange to believe that somewhere, God was probably watching over us, but a _sister_? It was almost unbelievable.

The Darkness was a baby, now, but she was growing fast and Crowley could feel her power. He wanted her, he knew she was dangerous but he thought he could control her.

I was slightly worried, since he told me she ate souls – and I was possibly one of the juiciest souls on Earth – but he promised that nothing would happen to me.

So, I prepared a few rooms for Amara (that was her name) and I chose a demon to be a nanny for her.

When Crowley brought her home, I was introduced as Auntie Pammy, and he was Uncle Crowley. She seemed a very nice girl, she was beautiful and very… very hungry.

The first time she saw me, she smiled. “You sparkle!” she said, pointing at me.

Crowley and I frowned. “She does?” he asked, surprised.

Amara nodded and walked in front of me. She put both of her hands to the side of my face and smiled again.

“Crowley?” I called, quite scared.

Crowley intervened, letting me go and putting himself between me and Amara. “No. This is Auntie Pammy, we don’t eat Auntie Pammy. All right, dove?”

Amara seemed quite upset about that, and I didn’t know how to feel, but she seemed okay when Crowley brought her ten other people that she could feast on.

We offered the child a proper education, and a lot of gifts. Yes, we did quite spoil her, we were the best parents she could hope for.

Her hunger was growing so fast, she ate her nanny and after the accident, Crowley decided that – despite the fact he was very positive that he could control Amara – it was in my best interest to go back to the safe house where we were keeping Lucifer’s body, so that I could work on that project again, without being distracted by being a mother.

Weeks passed since I had any new information from Crowley, he stopped calling me and I started getting worried. I tried to call the Winchesters, but they didn’t answer my calls.

One day, I managed to talk to Sam. He told me Amara was a grownup woman, now; she had escaped and Lucifer was out of the cage. He asked me where I was and I hung up, scared that they could trace the call.

Well, fuck. Lucifer was out. I remember watching the lifeless body on my table; I got the attention of the other demons. “Gentlemen, we have a problem.”

I explained the situation. Not knowing what happened to Crowley was an agony, but we had to finish the job and fast. I didn’t know how to capture Lucifer, but I knew Crowley had a plan. I just had to find out what it was… hopefully he was still alive but if he wasn’t I would have completed his plan.

Shortly after, the body was completed and so were the chains that would have held it. Crowley called a few days later; I had to contain myself not to sound too happy.

“I have the Horn of Joshua,” he said, the line was weak, he must have been far away. “I’m going to propose a deal to the Winchesters, I’m giving them the Horn if they agree on sending Lucifer back into the cage. Is the body ready?”

“Yes,” I said, firmly. “Everything’s ready and functional, all we need is Lucifer.”

When he arrived, he was disappointed. He killed the other demons and told me to leave, he then disappeared with Lucifer’s body and everything I had worked on.

Confused and angry, I had no idea what to do. So, I left the place and started traveling back home. I found him alone, drunk, sad.

The sight broke my heart, I rushed towards him and asked him what was wrong.

He didn’t want to tell me, at first, but I told him that after more than 80 years together, I would have done anything to help him.

“All my demons turned their backs to me” he said, emptying another glass of bourbon.

“So what?” I took his face in my hands and kissed his lips lightly. “You’re Crowley! And you’re more powerful than any of those poor devils will ever be.”

To give me credit, came Dean Winchester. I didn’t expect him to show up, but I knew Crowley had a soft spot for him, so why not?

Dean’s words were convincing to me. Their plan wasn’t bad, so I helped him and tried to avoid another end of the world.

I didn’t participate to the first Apocalypse, but I was ready to help with this one. I didn’t spend all those years working on Lucifer’s body for nothing!

So, there we were, in a barn, with the Winchesters, Castiel – who was actually Lucifer – Rowena and… “Chuck?”

He turned to me and smiled fondly. “Hey, Pam!”

Dean frowned. “You two know each other?”

I was about to say yes, when I realised I was in a different body. Chuck never saw me in the shell I had, it was quite new. “I… how do you know it’s me?”

Chuck blushed and reach a hand behind his head. “I’m… God.”

My jaw dropped open. “We dated… you didn’t tell me _you were God_!”

“You dated?” asked Crowley, surprised.

Chuck seemed embarrassed, “You didn’t tell me you were an immortal soul, so I think we’re even.”

I didn’t know what to do, or say. I was astonished, it wasn’t real.

I heard Castiel’s voice from behind me. “I have no idea who you are, but should I call you Mommy?”

Turning my head towards him, I realise I was now in the same room with God and Lucifer. I shivered, quite scared, if I was ever going to die, those two were probably able to do something about it.

Sam was petrified, he was moving his eyes from Chuck to me, then to Lucifer. “Holy fuck…” he muttered.

Dean’s laughter filled the room. “Literally…”

Crowley shut him up with a killing stare, and I turned my head to Rowena, ignoring the Winchesters. “What is she doing here?”

“I’m helping the guys with Amara, dearie” she smiled. “I’m sorry, didn’t I kill you?”

“She’s immortal” Crowley stepped closer, “So _it was_ you.”

Rowena curled her lips in a little smile and lowered her eyes.

“I don’t understand” I told Chuck. “You saved me?”

He nodded, pointing at Castiel. “When Castiel absorbed the Leviathans, and gained power, he tried to absorb you too… and he kinda managed, but I still had plans for you, so I saved you. And I rebooted Castiel a couple of times…”

“Wait a minute, what is she? Why is she sparkling?” Lucifer seemed truly confused as he looked at me.

Chuck answered his question. “She’s a Wonderer. Death created six of them; eternal souls, destined to travel the world in order to find bodies to host them. She’s the youngest, and the last one, given the circumstances…”

Six of us… so there were another five, somewhere in the world.

After some other small talk, Chuck explained the plan.

He lowered his guard, so that Amara could find him.

The witches had to attack first, then the angels, then the demons and then Lucifer. Then, Chuck would have imprisoned her in the Mark of Cain. Sam would carry it.

She was too strong, and I feared the end when she defeated both the witches and the demons. I hid away, looking at everything from a distance.

I listened as the two most powerful creatures existing argued about family matters. I was scared to death, I couldn’t stand to be there a second longer.

Nobody was looking at me, so I sneaked out of the building, I had no idea what was going to happen, but if I could survive, then I would run.

Rowena was lying on the ground, I bit my tongue hard and I went to see if she was okay. I helped her onto her feet but her attention was captured by something behind my shoulders. I turned around, and I saw the sun rising. It was possible this was my last dawn.


End file.
